March 30, 2021
Before diving into your next relationship…Ask yourself these 4 Questions
Nothing beats the thrill of diving into your next relationship.
With cheeky and rosy first dates, the feeling of infatuation is something that most of us would eternally chase. You can’t deny it…just the thought of newness alone is enough to bring that anticipation of excitement.
But at the back of our minds, a worthwhile question lingers. Am I ready to dive into my next relationship? Or will this be another episode of superficial encounters or even temporary hook-ups?
Such tricky questions often prevent you from investing more into the relationship. The question of readiness takes you aback, forcing you to assess if the juice is even worth the squeeze.
Next Relationship: No one is ever truly ready
And yet, everyone is willing to take that next step. After all, there’s no amount of readiness that can guarantee success in your next relationship.
While new relationships can certainly give you the thrills, they can equally give you the chills. It forces the question of readiness as if it was an imminent sickness that you must face.
Even then, you must have the courage to cross that bridge. Like Soren Kierkegaard’s “leap of faith”, entering a new relationship requires unbending courage to dip one foot in the water.
To help you out, we’ve prepared 4 questions that you can ask yourself before diving into your next relationship. Instead of simply asking if you’re ready, these 4 questions can help bring about a more honest conversation with yourself.
Can you love yourself first?
Love takes courage. After all, being in a new relationship requires that you give a generous amount of patience and attention to someone else.
In fact, even when you decide to pursue a hobby or passion, you’d still be pouring a significant amount of time into it. Just as every piano player invests countless hours of practice, loving someone requires tons of patience and understanding.
More importantly, loving someone else takes even more courage. But are you ready to stand up for that bigger role? How can you be ready to love others when you can’t even love yourself first?
Loving yourself first means that you know how to take care of yourself. It means focusing on your own goals, paying attention to what you eat, and pampering yourself. If you love yourself, you’ll know how to say ‘no’, curb your bad habits, and focus on what’s truly important.
To do this, you need to heal yourself first. And as you take care of your soul, you’ll know what it means to love who you are.
By loving yourself before diving into your next relationship, the meaning of love will beautifully unfold.
Tip: You can try out these healing crystals for deep healing!
Do you have the courage to take off your Mask?
Wearing a mask allows us to showcase a part of ourselves, albeit limited to what we want others to see. Just as in the movie V for Vendetta, V wore a mask partly because he didn’t want others to see him.
However, beneath that mask, a wholly complex version of V exists. Beyond the ideas that he propagated, a loving monster seeks warmth. And as we know it, V too late, forcing him to let go of the love of his life.
Similarly, the same personal dilemma exists within us. If you’re to love someone else, are you courageous enough to show who you truly are? Or will you keep putting up facades just so others will give that warmth?
Remember, taking off your mask means accepting yourself. And when you do, you’ll become empowered enough to accept others as well.
Reading Tip: Unsure about how to improve yourself before accepting it? Check out these self-mastery techniques!
Are you bold enough to accept others for who they are?
Before beginning to accept others, the two prior questions force you to engage in an authentic conversation with yourself. Doing so means that you’ll begin seeing your won flaws and imperfections. And by accepting who you truly are, you’ll gain the courage to go out there and be yourself.
Even then, your individual readiness is not enough to make that new relationship succeed. In fact, you’ll face an even greater challenge – accepting others for who they are.
To be in a relationship means that you’ll be swallowing their imperfections. And just like you, your partner isn’t going to be perfect. After all, to err is human, but to love, divine.
After all, loving someone asks you to transcend beyond yourself, and become part of theirs.
Are you willing to accept that loving someone also means hurting them?
Finally, the acceptance of imperfection gets to another level – the realization that love can also lead to pain. While this may sound counterintuitive, those who’ve truly loved others know that hurting them is inevitable.
When you try loving yourself, you’ll see that there are instances of imperfection. This causes you pain and anxiety. Even then, it is also an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.
Similarly, loving others will bring pain and suffering. One way or another, there will be instances where you’ll hurt them. Even if you had the right intentions, sometimes your good deeds end up trampling on others’ pride.
Add to that, they will also hurt you. As Bob Marley iconically said, “The truth is, everyone will hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
By accepting this universal truth, you also accept the imperfections not only of your partner but also of their contexts.
Simply put, you just have to accept things as they are and do what you can. Love entails courage, not only to know yourself but the other as well. And as you understand each other’s love language, you’ll find ways to work it through, no matter how ugly it gets.
Final Word
Asking these 4 questions before starting your new relationship means that you’re ready to face whatever life may throw at you. Regardless of how difficult it may get, the fortified version of yourself will be readier to handle any relationship’s twists and turns.
With that, which among the 4 questions do you resonate with the most?
Let us know in the comments below, and share your own insights!
The Individualogist Team is made up of archetype fanatics, individuation practitioners, and spirituality fans. Our humble group has banded together to deliver thought-provoking, life-changing, and growth-probing wisdom.
