A person’s true self resides in their deepest core. Your true self only shows in situations where you are 100% comfortable and at peace. The moments when you are vulnerable are also indicators of your true self.
More often than not, the true self reveals itself when you are alone or with people whom you trust wholeheartedly.
With the advent of technology, superficiality in our society today is on its high. Everything should be Instagrammable – our meals, our dates, our lives!
We are now living in a world where digital validation is given more premium than real-life compliments.
As a result, most people tend to project a personality and a life that is not theirs.
The number of likes has become the basis of whether you’re doing great or not.
With all this chaos around us, we inevitably form a sense of self that caters to modern societal standards. We change the way we talk and adjust our style. We even adopt principles and beliefs that go with the norm.
All these, just because we want to fit in. As humans, it is in our nature to be scared of not belonging. We need a pack to survive.
This is why we do everything we can to blend in, even if it means turning away from our true selves.
But what is the true self? Is there a true self?
The True Self Vs. False Self
What is the difference between true self and false self?
Unfortunately, for most of us, the false self is our everyday self. It is a manufactured persona made to cater to the world.
As mentioned, we are so afraid of not belonging that we tailor-fit ourselves to be what others tell us to be.
We are driven by our desires to satisfy our ego. The only important thing for the false self is other people’s approval.
There are certainly times when you acted or spoke against what you truly feel because you wanted to conform.
Maybe you really liked jazz music but your friends told you that you have bad taste.
So you changed your favorite to pop. Maybe you weren’t comfortable being too touchy with your partner but they said you’re not being fair. So you went along with it. In these situations, the false self emerges.
The true self, on the other hand, is secure.
When your true self is at work, you instantly feel a surge of peaceful energy within you.
You feel free when you speak.
There is no internal resistance in your actions.
When you are at your highest state of caring, loving, and inner peace, this is the true self manifesting.
8 Steps in Finding Your True Self
How to find your true self is the golden question.
The process can be a bit of a maze. It takes a lot of work, especially that the society we live in has trained us to act only for its approval.
Our fear of being judged has led us to always conform and deny our true self to reveal its own qualities.
It’s always our false self that wins in many everyday situations.
So, how do you find your true self?
#1 List Your Likes and Dislikes
Self-awareness is the key to finding your true self. You have to know what makes you feel happy and what makes you feel sad.
You have to identify the past experiences that you want to relive and you want to avoid.
This will help you assess which type of energy you most likely vibrate in. Did you enjoy your hiking trip last year or would you rather be slumped on the couch while watching your favorite show?
Pay attention to how you feel in certain situations. Your experiences are your guide.
Lastly, assess the people you surround yourself with. Knowing which type of people you are comfortable having around will help you reveal your true self.
#2 Stop Idolizing Others
There is nothing wrong with admiring somebody. What’s wrong is obsessing on them. Idolizing people paves the way for exactly just that.
If you want to find your true self, it is important that you know the line between drawing inspiration from people and imitating them.
Unhealthy admiration shows in forms of slowly copying them, agreeing to whatever they say, and putting them on a pedestal.
The more you idolize someone like this, the more you veer away from your true self.
#3 Don’t Depend on Other People’s Opinions
The main reason why we have a false self is because we want to impress other people. We crave for their approval that we are willing to let go of whatever doesn’t leave them in awe.
Our true self is slowly dismantled when we choose to listen to other people than to our own voice. It’s always what they want over what we want.
If you really wish to find your true self, you have to learn how to not care about what other people say.
Remember that at the end of the day, these people that you try so hard to please won’t even show up when things get rough. You only have yourself, so listen to it the most.
#4 Let Go of Fake Friends
It can’t be said enough: fake friends make our lives ten times harder.
Know that when you have fake friends, you are just nurturing an interaction between your false self and their false selves. It’s a false selves party!
If you are committed to finding your true self, weeding out your fake friends from the real ones is an important step.
As you have read already, the people you surround yourself with will play an important role in your discovery of your true self.
Make sure they are trustworthy, supportive, and most of all, authentic.
#5 Trace Your Roots with Your Family
Observe the behavior of your family members. Do you have similar personalities? Do you do things the same way?
One important factor in finding your true self is acknowledging the fact that you are entangled with your parents’ personalities.
While of course you are an independent entity, knowing that you might have gotten parts of their identity will help you in forming your own sense of self.
#6 Be Vulnerable
Stop hiding your emotions. Our false self loves to pretend. This includes pretending that you are okay when you are not.
Finding your true self is all about accepting your emotions, both good and bad.
So what if you are a little down today? You don’t have to pressure yourself to always appear okay in front of everyone.
If you always feel the need to hide your own emotions, then that means you are surrounded by the wrong people.
Be with people who understand and accept the vulnerable version of you.
#7 Ask Help from the Divine
No matter what your religion is, it is important that you ask spiritual guidance from a higher power.
Your true self will only be revealed if your spiritual state is in a good place. Know that finding the true self is a spiritual experience in itself.
The moment you find it, all the qualities needed to navigate this life will automatically overflow.
This includes creativity, intelligence, and passion – all in accordance with the Divine guidance.
#8 Accept Your Imperfections
Most people today suffer from low self-esteem. This comes from the fact that the society that we live in is hyper-focused on showing only the good things in life.
It seems like everyone is competing with each other, especially on the internet. Bragging has been the name of the game.
This is why it is understandable why most of us try our best to hide our imperfections.
We don’t want to be judged. We don’t want to be seen as someone at the bottom of the chain. However, it is vital to know and accept your flaws.
This is the only way to find your true self. Everyone has imperfections.
The more you try to depict yourself as perfect, the more you will miserably fail in being authentic.
The process of finding your true self can be tough, but certainly worth it.
Once you strip yourself off of your false self, you will see how much your life will change.
You’ll discover your good qualities and you will be able to use them to achieve your goals.
You will be more loving, intuitive, and compassionate.
So, are you ready to meet your true self today? Let us know in the comments below!
The Individualogist Team is made up of archetype fanatics, individuation practitioners, and spirituality fans. Our humble group has banded together to deliver thought-provoking, life-changing, and growth-probing wisdom.